nobody asked but i ranked every all time low song

well actually i only ranked every regular album track minus the acoustic version of poppin’ champagne. 6 records. 79 songs.
why?
i don’t know.


before we get into it, let’s go over what all time low’s albums even are.
Put Up or Shut Up – 2006
I 100% illegally downloaded this album when I was 12
So Wrong, It’s Right – 2007
Confession: I used to confuse this album art with the art from a lesson in romantics by mayday parade
Nothing Personal – 2009
The only cd in my car between getting my license and my parents giving the car I used to my sister my sophomore year of college
Dirty Work – 2011
DGC doesn’t put out bands’ best albums. Fact. But this record is ……. not as bad as I thought it was when I first heard it. I guess. 
Don’t Panic! – 2013
My boyfriend freshman year of high school bought me this CD for my birthday.
Future Hearts – 2015
I hadn’t listened to this album prior to doing this
Last Young Renegade – 2017
Is andy biersack on the cover of this? How does Alex have the exact same voice? Questions?
ALRIGHT let’s frickin do this

1. Weightless
   • Obviously. When i would play this song in the car with my mom at like 11 years old i would turn down the radio when he said the F word
2. Dear Maria Count Me In
   • the HA HA. the cough. ultimate classic status.
3. Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don’t
   • Iconic music video. How i was i supposed to know you were o-o-over me i think that i should go (GO!)!!!
4. Six Feet Under The Stars
   • HELL yeah certified BANGER. When I visited Baltimore at age 14 I made my parents take a picture of me in front of the Thames Street sign.
5. Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For A Night)
   • Most underrated song ever written. Hell fucking yes. STAY AWAKE.
6. Coffee Shop Soundtrack
   • Certified classic. On my bootleg copy I had to write the song titles in manually for in iTunes I spelled coffee like “coffe” and I’m sure it is that way on my dad’s computer to this day.
7. Let It Roll
   • “But all i can think about is sex”
8. Walls
   • I c o n i c. We could all use a reminder to let the walls break down sometimes. We were all young and horny at one point.
9. Jasey Rae
   • Hell yeah
10. Remembering Sunday
    • Certified classic. Still the only song I can effectively play on the guitar. Kinda cringe I still love it tho.
11. Vegas
    • Banger. My friends ARE everything.
12. Missing You
    • A cute song? Surprisingly so? Actually reminds me of The Maine. Fun.
13. If These Sheets Were States
    • A really fun song to sing along to in the car. I like this song. Great chorus.
14. The Beach
    • If you didn’t listen to the beach on the last day of school every year of middle school did you even like All Time Low?
15. Dark Side of Your Room
    • I like this. This whole record is solid teen movie music. This is actually really good.
16. Guts
    • Yo Guts is actually a good, well written song. I’m so with it. Hell yeah.
17. For Baltimore
    • I love an All Time Low song that 1. starts slow and 2. is very location specific
18. Stella
    • Made my dad listen to this song when we went to palm springs when i realized this song wasn’t about a girl. More iconic laughter. Gang vocals as fuck.
19. Drugs and Candy
    • Reminds me of The Maine. In a good way.
20. This Is How We Do
    • Great opener. 100% would play loudly while drunk. Every song on this record bangs.
21. Hello, Brooklyn
    • Love a song that just lists cities
22. Therapy
    • Ok ….. I don’t know. This song used to be important to me but idk that it’s worth listening to now so it’s here. Fight me.
23. Keep the Change, You Filthy Animal
    • A frickin JAM! So fun! Used to take pride in knowing the band loved Home Alone. Is this song about cheating?
24. Ground Control (feat. Tegan and Sara)
    • I like this, thanks tegan and sara. Good electro influence.
25. Just The Way I’m Not
    • Fun as heck. What I want from an All Time Low song. Gang vocals, a catchy chorus, weird slow part, all vocals including harmonies done by Alex.
26. The Girl’s A Straight Up Hustler
    • Not great, still a classic tho
27. Something’s Gotta Give
    • This is a really good iteration of later era All Time Low
28. Lost In Stereo
    • Kinda creepy. Still a jam tho.
29. Holly Would You Turn Me On
    • Not even in the top five ATL songs entirely about sex
30. Somewhere In Neverland
    • Kinda corny but not a bad song at all. Cute video too!
31. Poppin’ Champagne
    • Perfect start. Gets worse as it goes on. Classic vid tho.
32. Afterglow
    • Really solid closer !!!!
33. Heroes
    • Just a song I enjoy really. I don’t know. Feels like an All Time Low song.
34. I Feel Like Dancin’
    • Not a good song but holy shit is it fun like six drinks into a night and honestly? What more could I ask for? Also: CRUNK
35. Break Your Little Heart
    • Anthem to 15 year old revenge
36. A Party Song (The Walk of Shame)
    • A song clearly written by a man who just turned 21. Don’t sweat it, forget it. More iconic gang vocals.
37. Satellite
    • A really good opening track hello!
38. Reckless and The Brave
    • Not a bad song, don’t really like the chorus but I get why it was a single
39. Don’t You Go
    • Sounds like a solid track 5 off of a much earlier pop punk record
40. Paint You Wings
    • Doesn’t start strong but the rest is good! Good melodies!
41. The Edge of Tonight
    • I like this song. A good iteration of their newer sound at a mid tempo.
42. That Girl
    • Problematic fave. I think Alex Gaskarth’s vocals on this song are really good.
43. Shameless
    • Has good parts. Not a party banger.
44. The Party Scene
    • Not as good as i remember
45. Come One, Come All
    • “I’ve got a bone to pick with you Mr. DJ”
46. Sick Little Games
    • Okay verses. Not super catchy. A skippable track on this record.
47. Running From Lions
    • Really bad vocals at the beginning, gets a whole lot better toward the end
48. Old Scars / Future Hearts
    • All Time Low always ends a record strong I’ll give them that
49. No Idea
    • Big Time Rush did a version of this song lol
50. Lullabies
    • Not as bad as I remember? Not good, but not as bad.
51. Do You Want Me (Dead?)
    • A perfectly fine opener. Kinda corny but equally fun!
52. Nice2KnoU
    • Sick title boys lmao no but really I enjoyed this song
53. Cinderblock Garden
    • Feels like a mid-album song. Not bad but not like.. Really good.
54. Thanks to You
    • I just like this one. Classic All Time Low writing.
55. Outlines
    • The Patrick Stump writing really shows
56. So Long Soldier
    • I think this song’s chorus sounds like an older ATL song. I like it. It’s self referential but it’s fun.
57. Break Out! Break Out!
    • Holy shit way worse than i remember
58. Backseat Serenade
    • Not a bad song, don’t really like the chorus but I get why it was a single
59. Last Young Renegade
    • Solid rock music. Wouldn’t change it if it came on the radio.
60. Kids In The Dark
    • An okay song really
61. Bad Enough For You
    • Sounds like a song that could be in a Disney Channel Original Movie montage scene. Take that as you will.
62. Bail Me Out (feat. Joel Madden)
    • The superior collab on this record
63. Life of the Party
    • Return of the bad electronics! Good chorus. Can see this being used in a teen movie montage but is a hard song to listen to.
64. A Daydream Away
    • Dorky but not necessarily a BAD song
65. Runaways
    • Not great but Alex Gaskarth still knows how to write a bridge
66. To Live and Let Go
    • Fine but not overly fun or interesting
67. Nightmares
    • Not memorable
68. Under a Paper Moon
    • Middling. Kinda corny, nothing about it even makes me laugh so
69. Forget About It
    • I honestly couldn’t tell you if I think this is an ok song or not. Weird spoken part in the middle. The end is fun, I like the end.
70. Good Times
    • Writing sounds like classic Alex but idk about these slow tracks
71. Tidal Waves (feat. Mark Hoppus)
    • Pretty boring. Inferior collab.
72. So Long and Thanks for All the Booze
    • Not that good. Misses a mark for me.
73. Return The Favor
    • This song doesn’t flow well for me. Could do without it, honestly
74. Time-Bomb
    • Not a good song
75. Dancing With A Wolf
    • Um I don’t know about all this
76. Kicking & Screaming
    • Not sure what to make of it really
77. Dirty Laundry
    • I’m…. not with it
78. The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver
    

• Eh
  

1. Too Much

• A painfully 2009 song. Wow. Too much of that synth, my dudes. This sucks. Like so bad. Oh my god.

originally posted april 6, 2018